quick thoughts...

long time no post... my life is kinda the same boring story now (going to the hospital, hopefully working out, studying, eat eat eat, and little sleep), but yet with so many changes since the last post.

Psych seems like ages ago. I never offered my final reflection about the clerkship. I kinda wish I had, just so I can read back later when I'm trying to make a decision about what specialty to go into. I'll probably make a post one about it later. And crazily, I'm half-way done with ob/gyn...and I'm liking it a lot (which is what I'm afraid of b/c that will probably happen with each rotation). And as always, so much to study...but I am posting right now. (me = ultimate procrastinator)

So I just wanted to say, that it's good to be back in aa...seeing familiar faces in the hospital and just having classmates to go to when I need to bitch about something =P. But there are things that I don't like about being back with your classic UM students. There are way too many gunners here.

And...I've kinda lost my own unique procrastinator gunner attitude, partly b/c I don't believe I can compete anymore (aka a sore loser). But mostly, I don't want to turn into THAT kinda person. Always trying to get ahead, being fake, brown-nosing, trying to out-shine your classmates. It's not me.

I'm perfectly fine with being average. I think it's the first time in my life that I've felt this way. Because happiness for me is not being the best anymore (though I still enjoy the occasional win in a game...). I really think, in the future, I just want a very domestic life. I just want a family, a good career with time to spend with my kids (part-time sounds awesome!) I think that's what would make me happiest in life. Unfortunately...it's kinda hard to work towards this future of mine. It's not as clear as the blueprints in how to become a successful doctor.

Maybe I should be spending my time going to bars, mixers, and making friends who have other friends (hahaha...jk!), instead of trying to memorize these obscure epidemiology #s on STIs...

Oh...and I don't think Ob/Gyn pts. are as funny, but they're a lot of very happy moments :D.